Row and Red Ant are going to the same school, and the Doctor is in daycare, so there seems to be a constant appeal for donations. "It's for the kids." But really, what kind of message is the school system sending to our kids. "All you have to do is ask for something, and someone will give it to you. You don't have to work or earn it." This is my problem and how they ask for donations.
At our house, it was either we can go to the fair OR we can go to a movie, but not both. We just didn't have the money. We couldn't (well we could have) just ask people to pay for our parking, admission, fair rides, and food. I guess that I could have made a cardboard sign that says "Liberals wanted to pay for our tickets and popcorn! It's for the kids."
Mind you, I don't mind donating, when we have the funds and for the right cause. For example, Red Ant's class has a goody box that needs resupplying and they ask for donations. The students get to pick one item from the goody box for good behavior and good grades. No problem. The kids work for a goal and are rewarded...no problem donating for that cause.
On the other hand, Row's teacher wanted parents to send snacks for the "kids that can't afford them" so that they'd have something to eat. Nope. The kid's parents need to explain to them that they can't afford snacks because of the choices that they have made in life. We got another email from Ms. S, that she had spent $30 on tickets for three kids that didn't have the money to pay for a field trip, and was hinting around for reimbursement. Again, the kids need to stay at school while the others go on the field trip.
If the school wants to raise money, then do a car wash. Don't stand by the car pool lane with a bucket.
I know that a lot of this seems harsh, but life isn't very pretty. Do we really want to raise kids to expect someone to provide for them [edit; besides their parents] or should we expect our kids to work hard, study, and be rewarded for good behavior? I do believe in the school lunch program, and SNAP benefits for kids, because let's face it. People don't always do the right thing, and the children shouldn't go hungry.
Anyways, I'm stepping off my soapbox.
Keep Right On Prepping - K
With so many budget cuts, we parents are asked to help out. I think the parent who bought the tickets shouldn't ask others to give to her for helping. Last night we went to a fundraiser for a local food shelf. it was 10 bucks a car load for a Halloween party, should I go ask others to give me the money back, no. It is a catch 22. I know after my brother and I finished school my parents would vote down any attempt to give the schools more money, why no kids at home I told my folks what about the other kids still in school??
ReplyDeleteI don't mind fundraisers along as they put some energy into it, rather than blindly expecting people into contributing.
DeleteWhen I taught, some of the nicest kids I had came from single parent families. The mom's (seems like the mom's were always the ones with the kids) were working one or more jobs, and had a hard time making ends meet. So if we were going on a field trip, and it cost money, and the mom didn't have it, I paid it. What the hell. It wasn't much, and a fifth grader who gets left at school and spends the rest of the day in the library with other "poor folk" is not going to get anything good out of the experience. Life pretty much sucks for a lot of people. Making the kids pay for their parents situation is not how I do things. There are plenty of good folks, who are doing the best they can, to make it and they aren't professional WIC people. I guess everybody has to make their own decisions about this issue, and I'm not being holier than thou or criticizing anyone who doesn't agree with me. I just remember those kids in my classroom and how being poor made their every day harder to get through. Wasn't their fault.
ReplyDeleteCatch-22. I felt the same way about making this post...I know that I'm gonna get grief because of it.
DeleteWith our limited budget, we have to draw the line or have an established criteria for making donations. Mine is if the group,people,or person is expending energy [work] towards their goal then I'll gladly help them. If it is promoting a socialist lifestyle, "I deserve mine" mentality, laziness, or expected because of race,color,creed,sexual orientation then I've got nothing for you.
I'm not giving you flak. I don't see anything wrong with what you said. I just had a different approach to a similar problem. It doesn't mean I was "right". I think a lot of times when you are talking about social issues there isn't any easy "right" or "wrong."
DeleteYou're right, there are a lot of different issues at work with people needing a some help. The problem is figuring out the "cure".
DeleteI can't help but wonder how many of the "poor" kids parents smoke cigarettes and drink beer? How many of them have a $1000 dollars worth of tattoos? Seems from what I have observed there is always money for smokes and a six pack. Always money for a 50 lb bag of dog food for the dogs. I feel sorry for the kids who have worthless parents who make poor choices. There is a difference between people down on their luck and those who make a career of having their hand out. Unfortunately it is all the same for the kids involved.
ReplyDeleteVery true, unfortunately I'm unable to figure out who is who when the schools come asking for donations, so I've had to establish some sort of self-guidelines.
DeletePoor people make more choices on a regular basis, thus they find themselves in their own trappings. I know of a few kids that because of their parents, they got a good education or stayed away from drugs and had a better life for themselves.
Thanks for stopping by, and how Mrs Rat?
I missed plenty of field trips because we couldn't afford them. Missed out on the school milk program, too. I remember when getting good grades and making the Principal's list was better than a talking to (or switch!) for bad grades.
ReplyDeleteIt is annoying because I agree with you; then I feel like I'm not following the Good Book and helping those in need. ARGH!
That said, if you would email me (my email is on my blog info page), I would like to send you some coupons for a couple things at Harbor Freight. (I am presuming you have one near you.) Three items that are free with no purchase, that you could maybe add to that goody box or just keep for yourself. Of course if you don't feel comfortable doing that, that is perfectly fine too. These particular items we have plenty of from either free or free with purchase coupons (even if what you buy costs less than what you are getting free).
Enough rambling. Hope you all have a blessed day. ♥
2 Thessalonians 3:10
DeleteFor even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
How about the people who want to work and can't find a job that will make ends meet. What good does it do working at McDonalds for minimum wage 36 hours a week if you have to take care of a family and there's only one bread winner? People say "oh, anyone can find a job." Usually they themselves have good jobs, or their spouse does.
DeleteI've been in that minimum wage job, and was looking for another job while I worked or worked two jobs to make ends meet. Granted, I didn't have a family at the time, which would have complicated matters...
DeleteThere are jobs available. "I can't find work" is a lame excuse 9 times out of ten. During this whole Great Depression, I had 2 or 3 jobs consistently available to cook/bus/wash dishes. Heck, I'd even tell people that we had jobs available, but they wouldn't show up because "Oh, I don't want to cook or it was beneath them to do manual labor". It boils down to wants and needs. If someone needs to work, they'll find a way.
Ya know the US spends more on education than any other single area. More than on defense, more than on welfare, more than even Pensions (just barely though). School systems like Detroit and Chicago are spending what amounts to a break down of 21K per student per year and then racking up all kinds of federal money on top of that in the form of free lunch programs, free breakfast etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteI don't know of any school system I have looked at that should be charging students for field trips period. All of them bring in more than enough money from property taxes it should not be an issue. It's simple greed and those at the top taking more than they should and then falling back on the old liberal excuse to help the poor.
Bull shit if you ask me.
Throwing money at the problem usually doesn't solve the problem. Now that money is the problem, well heck, what do ya do?
DeleteWow! Rob really hit my hot button! We pay thru the nose in 2 states via property taxes and still get hit-up by the kids to buy fund-raiser junk. DH's kids graduated 20 years ago and I never had any, so feel like it's a raw deal. Why? Because this state signed on to common crud, so I get to pay for liberal political indoctrination or lose my home. Nice choices. Glad I'm not getting e-mails hinting that I need to subsidize more people's poor choices. I'd get myself in real trouble. K, I think you are spot on! (Except car washes are problematic here due to water issues...)
ReplyDeleteAlways glad to hear from you. No effort = no money
Delete"At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge, ... it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."
Delete"Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons..."
"And the Union workhouses." demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?"
"Both very busy, sir..."
"Those who are badly off must go there."
"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."
"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."
While the money lender Scrooge character does exhibit the extreme side of business/personal beliefs, Dickens refers to Scrooge as "... a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner!" These are not traits of a compassionate person, or one that freely gives. This passage also refers to the conversation between the ghost and Scrooge about the two sickly children called Ignorance and Want.
DeleteI'm referring to job for adults, not children. "I do believe in the school lunch program, and SNAP benefits for kids, because let's face it. People don't always do the right thing, and the children shouldn't go hungry."
It's also interesting that Scrooge's character replaces love for money as a substitute for his father's lack of love for him, because of the father blaming Scrooge for his wife's death while giving birth. Maybe he could have gotten disability for this mental disorder?
I still draw my line in the sand that kids shouldn't suffer (you can define that word on a personal level), adults who are able to work should work, and I won't give to people that are unwilling to help themselves.
K - great post! and causing some really good conversation. i'll throw my 2 cents in....it's ginormic cities that are causing the problems!!! when you live in a city of 5 million people - things are going to cost more, kids are going to go hungry, people won't be able to find jobs....blah-blah-blah. but it has been my lifetime experience that smaller communities would never let a child or two go hungry because of their parents' poor decisions. it;s my lifelong experience the small, rural communities don't have 2 million meth heads wandering around making babies they can't feed, can't raise and can't teach.
ReplyDeleteback when i lived in ottawa (pop. 1million), we paid property taxes through the roof and paid for 2 completely different school systems. we were in our 40's and neither of us had ever had a child but paid for those 2 different school systems and property taxes our entire adult life. i admit that i was very contrary about it. a good 1/3rd of those schools were filled with muslims whose children i did not wish to support - and i don't care if they were good muslims - if they followed the koran - no way!
anyway, since we have moved to our BOL in 2010, we feel great accomplishment that our small property taxes pay our neighbour and bus driver to pick up 3 of our neighbour's kids to ensure they get to school and back each day - it feels good to know where our money is going and why. and we donate to our community in a variety of ways, being volunteers, or giving food, or sharing food or giving money.
K - it is very hard to have a charitable nature and live in this kind of a world. i understand everyone's already-expressed opinions and have shared those very same opinions at different times in my life. i am charitable by nature...but it sure is hard to be so when you have to pay school fees, property taxes, give donations, be hounded for donations "for the children" and then have to pay for your child's field trip. it sucks even worse if you don't even have a child!!!
i think it is a good idea that you have drawn up clear guidelines for yourself, and developed some moral boundaries. good on ya!
Some very good points, especially the differences between rural and urban charity. A person has to establish some sort of pet charities, amounts, or guidelines for giving.
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