Thursday, June 26, 2014

Proposal & Results

In the previous post, I commented that I had a plan in the works for some additional income while I finished out my Bachelor Degree In MRI. Well, here are the details of the situation...My Father-in-law is a hoarder with OCD tendencies. He will tell you that he has an "acquisition and storage problem", which boils down to that he is in denial.  He moved to an assisted living apartment so that he would get some human interaction, and help, so that he could maintain his independence. Here's the problem, the facility has decided that his living condition(s) posed a health risk after several warnings. He is to vacate by July 20th. If you remember, this is the same man that my wife found on the bathroom floor of his house. He was severely dehydrated, and if he had been there for a few more hours, probably his place of death.

Hoarding issues.
@Kelly at Happy Hollow: Whenever you think your house is dirty or a mess. Look at this picture.

My proposal was that I would check up on him on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for about 3 1/2 hours each day. I would clean the house, provide transportation, and general maintenance around the house for $180 a week. Anything over that would be an additional charge. I could also provide additional services,like mowing the yard, etc... My goals were to keep him in his house, even though all of the children have told him that he not making good decisions. While I also don't agree with his decision, he is a grown man (chronologically) and able to make his own decision about his life. He is also my father-in-law. So....

I picked him up outside his apartment, and took him to the local bookstore, where he spent about $150 on magazines and DVDs. After that, we went to the post office to mail a check for the accident that totaled his car. He was adjusting his milkshake, and swerved into the oncoming traffic, and hit another car head on. All while he had let his insurance lapse because he was unable to find the bill or remember that it was due. After a couple of hours, we went to lunch at Burger King, which is his favorite, and talked about my proposal for employment.

He told me that he would only need me for one hour a week. Baloney. I told him that he was wrong, and that a local housekeeping service charges $75/ hour. Anyways, he proceeded to tell me that he didn't have any money, and couldn't afford it. When November rolls around, and he has destroyed his house, once again, he will call me and ask if I'm still available. By that time, the ship would have sailed, and I'll be working full time at another place.

My decision for working for him:
  • He is my father-in-law.
  • I can finish school within a year instead of two years.
  • We'll be able to save a little bit of money and pay our bills.
  • I'll have greater freedom in my schedule.
Like I said, he doesn't make good decision, but he is a grown adult, and can choose the bed he wants to lay in.

Keep Right On Prepping - K


  1. I would like to see him have a social worker assigned, before he dies being unable to get out of the bathroom or kills someone with his car. It's very nice of you to offer to help, even for money, but many times older individuals will not accept the perspectives of their children or sons in law. My Dad did, my in-laws did, but my mother never would, and the results were disastrous.
    Best wishes with a tough situation.

    1. He has one at the hospital during his checkup, but otherwise refuses to seek counsel. He basically refuses to accept any kind of responsibility, and non-compliant with doctor's orders,

      He was told that we would not support his decision to move back into the house. He would have to hire house cleaners and yard people. He currently has his neighbor mowing his yard, to keep from making his house and eyesore in his neighborhood. He has never had to grow up.

      His children cleaned his house, and within 6 months had it worse than before. His oldest son, a lawyer, has looked into declaring him unfit, but that is extremely hard to prove since he only makes bad personal decisions.

      Sadly, just like an addict,..he is gonna have to hit bottom. We can't make him do's a sad situation. Nothing can really be done...

    2. At least, he doesn't have a car since the wreck.

    3. Your assessment is probably correct. I wonder if the next time he sees his medical social worker at the hospital, that you could ask her also to contact one in the community before his house burns down. His habits and maladaptations are a hazard to others. He needs help.
      Best wishes to you and your family.

    4. My wife says that he sees a social worker every two months as part of his health care. Now, if he is telling the truth about his situation or sugar coating it? We just don;t know if he is serious about the sessions. I just can't watch a family member drown without at least throwing a life preserver. He is still gonna have to swim to it though...

  2. I think I would stay as far away from the situation as I could manage. It's a no win scenario no matter what ya do.

    1. I would agree with your assessment.

  3. Oh my gosh K, I feel for you! I don't know if it would be a healthy situation for you to be in everyday....
    My house isn't that dirty, EVER! The hubs came in after I cleaned the kitchen and said "woman you have OCD" that's why I never spot clean because if I don't have time to make it perfect, I won't do it.
    I hope you can help him clean his life up and still keep your sanity. Good luck to ya!!!

    1. As long as I look at it from a job perspective, I should be able to mentally cope with one of the 12 tasks of Hercules.

  4. "can choose the bed he wants to lay in." even if it just so happens to be made of ketchup bottles, a new in box easy bake oven, and twenty six hulk action figures...